I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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