if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
