Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
