if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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