Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
