There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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