I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
there is puke in my bra ... again
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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