Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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