I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had to cum in my sink.
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