is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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