I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
