She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
