I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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