The maid of honor just puked.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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