glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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