Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
