She just used a chaser for red wine.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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