I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
