DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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