you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I cannot find my penis.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize