these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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