Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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