Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
