And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
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you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
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We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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