He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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