I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
