I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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