Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Can Purell be used as lube?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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