I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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