the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
