Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
