Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
last night I used snow as a chaser
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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