that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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