Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the condom got lost in my hair
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
