Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
