I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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