would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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