Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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