I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
