How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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