"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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