I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
