I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
