Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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