420 ftw
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
