she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
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I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
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I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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