My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
