somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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