after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
