I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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