I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize