drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
