I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
