she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
