My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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