yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
