he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
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You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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