I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
